Thomas Harms regularly receives desperate parents at his office hours. Parents who are constantly anxious for their baby to cry again or even feel attacked by it. “Situations like this are an extreme health crisis. Feel free to compare it to people experiencing a life-threatening illness.” To help them better, Harms developed an effective intervention. “With the help of this, you teach parents to be a stable beacon for their baby.” In a webinar on Thursday evening March 9, the German psychologist and body-oriented therapist will take you by the hand to provide this help yourself.

Babies cry because they express their basic needs. Unfortunately, it is often anything but easy for parents of a crying baby to keep a cool head: they want to comfort their baby, but don’t know how. Their baby, in turn, senses their stress, which often leads parents and child into a vicious circle. Thomas Harms has more than twenty years of experience in guiding parents with a crying baby. “A connection-oriented guidance of the baby pays off,” he explains. “This means that you teach parents step by step how to tune in to their child’s needs.”

Stable beacon

His intervention, the ‘Emotional First Aid Method’, is central to the webinar. In doing so, the mother and the baby, with the father behind them both, take place in comfortable cushions on the floor. “Then you ask the parents to focus on their body sensations and breathing to allow space for all the feelings a baby wants to express. In this way, you teach parents to be a stable beacon for their baby’s emotion regulation.” Practice shows that in about half of the cases the baby quickly settles down. “Babies are experts at discovering if their parents are really present.”

Cry louder

In the other half of the cases, the baby starts to cry louder and louder. The sound goes through the marrow and bones – and comes in waves. It can take up to 15 to 20 minutes. “This is what I call ‘memory crying’. When this happens, it is always very impressive. It seems that a trauma from time comes up in the womb or around birth. After such a session, a wonderful open contact between baby and parents is created.”

Safe haven

Applied properly, his method helps parents be a safe haven for their children. “I see it as an opportunity to stop intergenerational transmission. During the webinar I will explain my approach with short practical demonstrations and video material of the baby-parent therapies.”

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You can order the webinar here
Participation price: 29.95
Organisation: IMH Nederland and Vakblad Vroeg

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Book and course
Thomas Harms is also the author of Why Your Baby Is Crying and How to Comfort Your Child. In a review elsewhere on our site, Jolien Glas says the following about this: ‘With this book, parents and carers learn to better understand what they can do themselves when their baby cries. Crying is allowed, but requires good supervision. The essence is to actually be there for the baby while crying. ‘Why your baby is crying and how you can comfort your child’ holds up a mirror to you, but also provides guidelines for what you can do exactly. Beautiful!’ Read more >

Birth Imprints also provides a course on Thomas Harms’ method. Information is on birthimprints.com, click here

Vakblad Vroeg is er voor professionals die werken in de geboortezorg en met kinderen tot zeven jaar en hun ouders. Een abonnement kost slechts €28,- per jaar.

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Vakblad Vroeg is er voor professionals die werken in de geboortezorg en met kinderen tot zeven jaar en hun ouders. Sleutelwoorden zijn preventie, vroegtijdige onderkenning en vroeghulp. Ons kwartaalmagazine biedt achtergrond en verdieping. Een abonnement kost slechts € 28,- per jaar.

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